What is reclaiming?

The Final Phase of the Decentering Journey

If decentering can be summed up as awareness, and rebuilding as stability, then reclaiming is best described with one word: embodiment.

Reclaiming is where the inner work you’ve been doing stops living only in your head and starts showing up in your life. It’s the lived expression of everything you’ve uncovered and rebuilt along the way. Not perfection. Not arrival. But integration.

This is the third and final phase of the decentering journey.

What Reclaiming Is

Reclaiming is the process of fully stepping into your authentic self—

Embracing joy, desire, and self-trust without guilt or apology. That doesn’t mean guilt disappears entirely. It means it no longer runs the show.

Reclaiming is remembering who you were before life told you who to be—

….and building on that foundation with wisdom you didn’t have before. It’s honoring the parts of you that existed before a rupture, while also acknowledging that you are not the same person anymore. You are older. Wiser. Changed. And that matters.

Reclaiming is connecting with your identity beyond trauma and roles.

You may be navigating grief, transition, or loss—but you are not only those things. You are still a person who knows how to laugh, rest, desire, and experience joy. Reclaiming is reconnecting with that part of yourself and allowing it space to breathe.

reclaiming is when healing becomes embodied instead of theoretical.

In the rebuilding phase, you may have needed reminders, structure, and conscious effort. In reclaiming, many of those changes begin to happen automatically. You respond differently. You choose differently. You move through the world as someone who has been changed by their healing.

What Reclaiming Is Not

Reclaiming is not toxic positivity

It doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine or walking around happy all the time. That’s denial, not healing. Reclaiming allows for joy and realism.

Reclaiming is not bypassing grief—

Emotionally or spiritually. You can’t skip grief and call it growth. If the loss hasn’t been processed, it will resurface later. Reclaiming requires that grief has been acknowledged, felt, and honored.

Reclaiming is not constant happiness either

Life still happens. The difference is that you’re more equipped to handle setbacks without letting them define you.

reclaiming is not reckless behavior masked as freedom.

Sometimes what feels like freedom is actually avoidance, numbing, or self-soothing in disguise. True reclaiming involves understanding your “why” and choosing habits that support you in the long run—not ones that quietly harm you.

What Reclaiming Looked Like for Me

For me, reclaiming showed up in quiet but meaningful ways.

I applied for a job I didn’t feel fully qualified for—and got it. Old me wouldn’t have tried. New me understood that being capable matters more than being perfect.

I signed up for a dance class. Dancing has always been part of me, but fear and self-consciousness kept me from exploring it publicly. Saying yes to that experience opened me up in ways I didn’t expect.

And I started this podcast. Even with a small audience, it has been a way to reclaim my voice—to speak without shrinking or hiding.

Reclaiming doesn’t always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like trying, risking, and choosing yourself anyway.

How to Start Your Reclaiming Journey with Intention

Reclaiming is a natural, organic process. It unfolds slowly, day by day.

One way to begin is by introducing pleasure with intention. Engage your five senses—savor good food, listen to music that moves you, notice beauty, touch textures that feel comforting. Pleasure reconnects you to your body and to life.

Another practice is learning to romanticize your life. Light a candle while you journal. Pour your drink into a glass you love. Make ordinary moments feel special. This isn’t about aesthetics—it’s about presence.

Finally, say yes to new experiences. It doesn’t have to be big. Try a new class, walk a different route, strike up a conversation, accept an invitation. New experiences remind you that life is still expansive.

Bringing the Journey Full Circle

Reclaiming is not about pressure or performance. It’s about allowing transformation to take root naturally.

As you wrap up this series, it’s important to know where you are right now. That’s why I created the Decentering Journey Phase Quiz—to help you identify whether you’re currently in decentering, rebuilding, or reclaiming. There’s no right or wrong result—only information.

When you understand your current season, you can stop forcing growth that doesn’t fit yet and start supporting yourself with clarity and compassion.

This journey is ongoing. It’s lived in real time, sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly—but always forward.

So… are you going to show up today?